Your self-esteem and self-confidence start to develop when you are a child, as you learn to try new things, solve problems, take risks, accept failure, and develop a sense of belonging. As we grow, our self-esteem and confidence can also be influenced by many other factors:
The actions and behaviors of others
The media
How we fit into society and how society views us
Your childhood and life experiences (how you grew up and how you were raised)
Your relationships
Your personality
Your sexuality
Your gender identity
Your culture
Acts of abuse and trauma
Racism, sexism, homophobia, white supremacy, patriarchy, ableism and other forms of discrimination
When someone has low self-esteem, they do not have a strong sense of self-worth and value. You may notice some of the following behaviors and characteristics:
Easily offended
Insecurity in trying new things (fear of failure and decreased confidence they will be successful)
Negative self-talk and doubt, or they talk negatively and try to instill doubt about others.
Difficulty making and keeping friends
Blame others for their mistakes or have a hard time admitting to their mistakes
Decreased motivation and interests
Find it hard to be acknowledged or take a compliment/Compliments may cause them anxiety or stress
Uncomfortable being around others, especially those they do not know, may appear socially isolated or withdrawn
Compare themselves to others, thinking others are better
Sensitive to criticism or suggestions
Become agitated or hostile if they feel criticized, exposed, or attacked
By removing your own self-doubt and fear, you can set achievable goals for yourself. Encourage yourself to try something new and learn from your mistakes by also acknowledging how a different path may change the outcome and take pride in what went right. To avoid being easily offended by others, stand by your own values and self-worth.
See your body as a whole and not as individual pieces that you may or may not like. Admire the inner beauty and what your body can do and accomplish, versus how it looks.
Self-esteem
Self-esteem is essential because how we feel about ourselves has a huge affect on our mental health and behavior. People with healthy self-esteem are self-aware, practical, and seek out people who accept and value them for who they are.
Your self-esteem is about how you perceive your own self-worth, and about how much you believe others appreciate you. A healthy sense of self-esteem often helps people to feel more in control of their life and to be aware of their strengths and limitations.
Self-confidence
Your self-confidence relates to your belief in yourself and your ability to accomplish objectives and overcome obstacles in different areas of your life. It’s about believing in yourself and believing that you will find a way to accomplish goals and overcome obstacles.
Self-confidence is often simpler to develop than self-esteem, because it comes from information and practice — the more experience and expertise we get in a certain area, the more confident we feel.
When we are self-confident, this often results in good experiences, which reinforce our self-confidence even more.
Many people rely on self-confidence rather than focusing on developing their self-esteem. This can cause us to feel a sense of achievement that is very temporary, we feel it when we succeed at a new task and then it is gone again. When you develop good
self-esteem you can feel a more constant contentment with yourself, regardless of whether you achieved anything.
Body Image
Our body image relates to our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about our appearance (weight, size, how you look and appear to yourself).
How we feel in our bodies
How we see ourselves when we look in the mirror
What we envision ourselves to look and feel like in our own mind
Many of us find that our body image and self-esteem are deeply connected, especially during our preteen and teen years. From a young age, we are influenced by media, culture, and society about how we should look and feel in our own bodies. Distorted images portray an “ideal” one-size-fits-all image that is not real nor realistic. These false perceptions can create or enhance negative thoughts of our appearance and can cause feelings of self-consciousness, shame, and isolation, which can lead to social anxiety, depression, and eating disorders. The ultimate goal is to achieve a level of body positivity which includes acceptance and confidence of the many incredible attributes of your body and what it can do.
Self-acceptance
When we truly accept ourselves, that means we can embrace who we are, without any conditions, exceptions, or qualifications (Seltzer, 2008).
Self-acceptance means recognizing that you are a human being capable of both errors and great achievements. It means being realistic about your talents, shortcomings, flaws, individuality, and embracing all of these parts of yourself.
When we accept ourselves, we recognize our positive and negative characteristics and avoid criticizing ourselves, our actions, or the way we look. Self-acceptance helps to reduce feelings of guilt and sadness, and paves the way for future growth.
Self-perception
Self-perception is our basic view or mental image of who we are: our feelings, beliefs, characteristics, and mental states.
Self-worth
Self-worth is an internal sense of being sufficient, of belonging, and of being worthy of love. The internal nature of self-worth is what makes it different from self-esteem. Self-esteem is influenced by external events like personal victories or achievements.
To learn more about other factors that affect our self-esteem and body image and how to counteract and improve them, explore more below.
Self-worth is a measure of how much you respect yourself. It is not determined by what others think of you or the accomplishments you have made — it comes from within. You are inherently worthy and can give yourself the love you desire. It is a choice you can consciously make everyday and with practice it will get easier.
Self-acceptance is probably the greatest gift you can offer yourself. Self-acceptance is unconditional: it means accepting you as you are, faults and all. If we make self-acceptance or self-love conditional, the reality is that we will never be satisfied with ourselves.
The truth is that our bodies are continuously evolving and will never be the same as they were the day before. If we put our self-worth on something as fluid as our appearances, we will perpetually ride the emotional roller coaster of body preoccupation and humiliation.
If you want to alter your appearance, do it for yourself. However, keep in mind that your body image should not determine your value. A lovely body or a gorgeous face will not last forever nor change the way you truly feel about yourself inside. If your self-worth is based only on how you look, then imagine how your self-worth could change from day to day. Explore self-worth beyond the boundaries of your appearance. Once you understand who you are and are content with that, you can find serenity even while you navigate life’s unavoidable highs and lows.
The most important thing to remember and repeat to yourself is that you are already whole. You are unique and you are enough just the way you are.
One of the many obstacles on the path to good self-esteem and a healthy body image is discrimination. Discrimination is often defined as the unjust and prejudicial treatment of people based on a particular category they belong to. This includes marginalized groups of people based on race, mental and physical disabilities, LGBTQIA+ status, religion, and other identities. When we think about what self-esteem is — the way we feel about ourselves and how we think about our own worth and value — it can be easy to see how discrimination impacts our self-esteem. When people treat someone unfairly because of things they identify with or that are inherently part of who they are, it can lead to all sorts of unfavorable impacts like chronic stress, anxiety, and depression. This in turn can impact negatively on an individual’s self-esteem, especially if that individual lets other people’s opinions weigh heavily on them.
Discrimination can cause people to begin to believe that they are not worth much. Often youth might wonder “Why me?” This is because they don’t understand why someone might treat them in a different manner. Discrimination serves to make people believe they don’t deserve certain things that are a basic right for everyone. For example, when some people don’t have opportunities to participate in certain clubs or activities, it can be because of discrimination. In some schools, certain students get to be in advanced classes more than other students, and typically it is Black students and people of color that are kept out of those classes. People with physical disabilities may be passed up for a job; or perhaps a person is not promoted solely because of what they look like or that they identify as a woman, instead of basing that promotion on the work they have performed.
Remember, there are many ways to counter the external challenges you will face in your journey to develop a healthy body image and self-esteem. Since Day 1, you’ve had everything you need within yourself – don’t let the world convince you that you do not. Know that YOU are inherently worthy and have the power to love yourself in the way you desire by making small choices and commitments to yourself everyday. Remind yourself of this truth daily. With practice it will get easier and you will likely start to notice a difference in the way you feel.
A distorted body image is another obstacle on the path to good self-esteem and a healthy body image. We first begin to develop views of our body’s health, beauty, functioning, and acceptability when we are babies. As we grow up, our body image continues to develop and is influenced by comments and opinions from our family members, classmates, teachers, and coaches.
A negative or distorted body image is when someone’s perception of their body is warped or different to how they actually look to others. As with eating disorders, it is more prevalent in those who identify as female, although many who identify as male can also suffer from this.
Remember, there are many ways to counter the external challenges you will face in your journey to develop a healthy body image and self-esteem. Since Day 1, you’ve had everything you need within yourself – don’t let the world convince you that you do not. Know that YOU are inherently worthy and have the power to love yourself in the way you desire by making small choices and commitments to yourself everyday. Remind yourself of this truth daily. With practice it will get easier and you will likely start to notice a difference in the way you feel.
