Take Control Toolkit

When you interact through screens, think through the consequences of your actions, understand the impact of your behavior on others, and behave appropriately, responsibly, and safely so as to protect your reputation, your partners, friends, family, and yourself. Be a value-add on the internet, rather than contributing to the noise and negativity. Read below to learn some important tips and tools to help you stay in charge of your digital footprint.

Social Media

• Anytime you hit “send” it provides someone, somewhere a record of your behavior that is no longer in your control. Assume that anything you share on social media can be shared with everyone including teachers, grandparents, police, or classmates.
• Use privacy settings to control and manage your updates and your audience to increase your freedom around being your authentic self online. Click BLOOM’s Safety & Privacy page to find out how.
• Even with the best privacy settings, your posts may be seen by people who don’t ask, need, or want to see them.
• Think before you post and consider your intentions. What we put online doesn’t go away. It stays with us and can leave a lasting image of who we are…even if we don’t see ourselves that way anymore. Create a positive digital footprint that represents the “real” you!

Screen Time

• Do not compromise your values or reputation just because you are online.
• When (not if) you screw up, correct your mistakes to maintain the integrity of the sites and platforms you use as well as yourself.
• Keep your feeds and interactions positive: no hate speech, phobic remarks, misogyny, rape “jokes,” or threats.
• Let your content speak for itself and do not rely on being silly, scandalous, or foolish to gain followers or likes.

Gaming

• You are never as anonymous as you think you are; what you say today can come back to haunt you, weeks, months, or years later.
• Be respectful of stated rules, and always follow the terms of use for the social platforms, sites, and games you use.
• Don’t forget that actual human beings read the words you post/text/send, and remember that your computer does not give you free reign to be cruel or rude to anyone.

Below are some platinum rules for being online that revolve around safety and protection — of yourself, your self-esteem, your reputation, your privacy, and your heart. Read below to learn some important tips and tools to engage responsibly online.

Social Media:

• Do not let other people’s opinions begin to weigh more than your own. Most comments have more to do with the commenter than your content.
• Unfriend/unfollow/block those who make you uncomfortable, and don’t waste time trying to argue with others who engage in digital drama, negative posts, or hate speech.
• Block and report are helpful tools, use them!
• Be a value-add on the internet, rather than contributing to the noise and negativity.
• Think before you post and consider your intentions. What we put online doesn’t go away. It stays with us and can leave a lasting image of who we are — even if we don’t see ourselves that way anymore. Create a positive digital footprint that represents the “real” you!
• Obtain consent before posting or sharing any images or information about someone else.

Screen Time:

• Balance your online life with real-time, positive human contact, socially responsible and age-appropriate activities, relationships, and physical exercise.
• Develop good “unplugging (disconnecting) muscles.”  Try the Take Control Toolkit, courtesy of the Center for Humane Technology.
• Keep your privacy settings ON and follow the safety guides and terms of service for each platform/app/console/site you use.

Gaming:

• Actual human beings read/hear what you say, and your online subscription does not give you free reign to be cruel or rude to them.
• Good sportspersonship rules extend to the virtual world as well: no hate speech, phobic remarks, misogyny, rape “jokes,” or threats.
• The gamerverse can be particularly toxic for female-identified people — if you are one, keep your antennae tuned and block and report accordingly. If you are not female-identified, shut it down when you see it, and work to not make it worse.

In an ideal internet, you could exist and interact without worrying about hackers, malware, and cyber-attacks. Unfortunately, this is not the world we live in and taking safety measures to ensure this doesn’t happen to you is necessary. If you feel your account was hacked in any way, immediately change your passwords and notify a trusted adult. Read below to learn some important tips and tools to help protect yourself from being hacked.

Social Media

• Work to create strong passwords that decryption programs can’t easily crack.
• Commit to two-factor authentication to improve your security.
• Do not share passwords. If needed, only share your passwords with a trusted caregiver; friends and intimate relationships may change and you don’t want just anyone having access to your personal information and social media accounts.

Screen Time

• Most phishing and malware attacks are carried out via fake emails, so be careful clicking or downloading attachments or online links from people you do not know.
• If/when you can’t avoid public WI-FI, use a secure network or an app to create a VPN (virtual private network).
• Avoid posting any personal information or details that might allow a hacker to guess your security questions. Many social media quizzes are designed to get that information from you.
• If you are tricked into disclosing personal information by a targeted scam, change your login, password, and PINs (personal identification numbers) on the real site, then notify your banks and/or the business where the fraud occurred. Ask to speak to their fraud department.

Gaming

• Never install software mods from unrecognized links sent via emails, instant messaging, etc. Instead, only go to the official app store or game store to install the games.
• If anyone besides you has gained access into your account, you should change your password immediately.
• If you have been hacked, warn your contacts not to click on suspicious messages that may have been sent using your account; flag specific messages if you can, and delete them from your feed.

Online safety is just as important as personal safety in the real world. Read below to learn some important tips and tools for staying safe while online. You can also visit BLOOM’s Safety & Privacy page for specific safety setting instructions for some of today’s most popular social apps and games.

Social Media

• Make your accounts private.
• Use a strong password that uses capitals, a longer password, and special characters. Avoid using the same passwords throughout multiple accounts and set up your security questions.
• Be selective with friend requests. If you don’t know the person, don’t accept their request. It could be a fake account.
• Do not make physical contact with anyone you have met online without the permission of your caregiver(s) and someone to accompany you.
• NEVER meet anyone you only know online, alone.
• Do not take, post, send, or keep nude pictures of ANYONE under the age of 18 even (and especially) yourself.
• Notify your caregiver(s) and the social media platform immediately if you encounter anything, or are contacted by anyone, who makes you feel uncomfortable.

Screen Time

• Use a strong password that uses capitals, a longer password, and special characters. Avoid using the same passwords throughout multiple accounts and set up your security questions.
• Protect your personal information online: including your full name, address, passwords, phone number, social security number, and credit card numbers (and anyone else’s).
• Avoid areas of the web that focus on negative, inappropriate, or unsafe sexual depictions or sites that promote hate speech, bigotry, and other forms of prejudice.
• If you are tricked into disclosing personal information by a targeted scam, change your login, password, and PINs (personal identification numbers) on the real site, then notify your banks and/or the business where the fraud occurred. Ask to speak to their fraud department.
• Protect your computer by installing antivirus software to safeguard against malware. Also ensure that your browser, operating system, and software are kept up to date.
• Avoid clicking on any unexpected link.

Gaming

• Make your accounts private.
• Use a strong password that uses capitals, a longer password, and special characters. Avoid using the same passwords throughout multiple accounts and set up your security questions.
• Stay cautious when someone attempts to turn an online conversation sexual — especially if they ignore attempts to change the subject.
• Report cyberbullying to administrators, caregivers, and/or police.
• Do not download anything without permission, paying for it yourself, and making certain that it is from a reliable source.

Screen time is often accompanied by a reflective sheen and aura of altered beauty and false messaging; from trash talk to hyper-edited photos to fake news, these distortions can leave us feeling alienated, less-than, and victimized. Read below to learn some important tips and tools to protect yourself against the negative mental & emotional effects distorted reality can cause.

Social Media

• Online communication is totally different from real, in-person conversations. Interactions through screens lack a large amount of what makes up human communication: including elements of tone, body language, eye contact, facial expressions, and more aspects which are difficult to recreate online. For some people, this makes interacting easier, but we can also miss important social cues.
• View posts with a critical eye. What you are seeing may not be true reality. When other people’s feeds are full of curated, edited, filtered versions of themselves, it can set standards that are difficult to keep up with. Getting caught up with the need to hide your human imperfections and maintain an idealized version of yourself will create pressure and frustration that can lead to self-esteem issues.
• One aspect of our health and well-being that can be impacted by social media is our body image, which is “how you see yourself” when you look in the mirror or when you picture yourself in your mind. Recognize negative feelings and actions that may be prompted and exacerbated by media use.
• Fake news stories intended to mislead, exploit, and manipulate social media users with rumors, spam, malware, misinformation, slander, and distracting “noise” are constantly circulating. These are passed through our feeds via false accounts, automated bots, and malicious, misguided, and/or misinformed people. We are all susceptible to this phenomenon and we all have a responsibility to resist these manipulative techniques.

Screen Time

• True connections and bonds are made when you look someone in the eyes. Losing out on opportunities to connect with people face-to-face decreases opportunities to practice social skills necessary for success in life.
• Influencers and advertising intentionally push unrealistic ideals on their audiences with the intention of manipulating them to think that being thinner, sexier, or more popular (or other forms of social capital) will make them happier. This kind of media-fueled pressure around perfection can lead to unrealistic standards, warped body images, eating and exercise disorders, and other forms of self-harm.
• Negative body image is a perception of our self — whether true or distorted — that causes shame, anxiety, or self-consciousness, or that interferes with our relationship with ourselves and/or other people. Some people believe that this impacts only female-identified people, but all people are susceptible to these negative thoughts and feelings too.

Gaming

• “Trash talk” includes exaggerated, humorously-spirited insults, used during competitive events to intimidate or “roast” one’s competition, lower their confidence, and theoretically make winning easier. It is important to make sure that when/if you ”trash talk” while gaming, that it is good-natured and stays in the spirit of the site; insults involving sexuality, gender, race, women’s private body parts, threats of life or safety, and any mention of sexual assault in any form are never ok.
• It is easy to lose time while playing games: to blow off responsibilities, let someone down, miss opportunities, or disrupt a sleep schedule if you don’t pay attention. Avoid doing “one-more-level,” and use timers and/or alarms to help.
• Many people play video games “to relax,” though many games actually increase your stress: fighting for your life, saving the world, or winning a game can leave you sweaty, shaky, heart racing, irritated, and way more stressed out than you were when you picked up the controller.