Has anyone ever told you to “pay attention?” We’re guessing yes. But has anyone ever told you HOW to do that? That’s what mindfulness is all about. Mindfulness means paying attention on purpose with curiosity and kindness. Oftentimes, as caregivers, we are extremely mindful of our young people when they are babies – paying attention to their every movement, watching closely how they interact with the world with curiosity, a sense of wonder, and kindness. In these moments of being deeply immersed in their play, our young people too, are interacting with their world mindfully.
Mindfulness is a way of paying attention to the present moment on purpose with curiosity and kindness, and without judgment. This way of paying attention involves tuning in to our thoughts, feelings, body sensations, and surrounding environment, with acceptance of what is and without judgment. We call it “mindfulness” but you can see it’s really “heartfulness” or “bodyfulness” too, since we are paying attention to our bodies, hearts, minds, and surroundings. When you practice mindfulness, you tune in to what you are sensing right in the current moment rather than thinking about the past or imagining the future.
Being Present
Mindfulness is being present to the here and now. Practicing mindfulness gives you awareness (information) of yourself, those around you, and the world. And this new sense of awareness can be an incredible tool to help you build the life you want.
Mindfulness can help you:
Have the power to choose where you place your attention
Know more about yourself and others
Enjoy the things that you like
Move away from things that you don’t want to be doing anymore
Feel more connected to the world around you
Notice your thoughts and know they are just thoughts
Be kinder to yourself and everyone around you
The Power Inside You
Everyone has the power to practice mindfulness. You probably practice it sometimes already without even knowing you’re doing it! Observing the first beautiful buds beginning to sprout in the spring, noticing the feeling of warm wind on your face as you walk to your office, the replenishing feeling you experience in your body with a cool drink of water to quench your thirst, are just a few examples. There are so many ways to bring mindfulness into your life. And as you learn how to practice it on purpose, you will develop skills that can help you live a happier and healthier life. A life that aligns with who you want to be in the world. Mindfulness is a powerful tool that is always available to you and can help you find your inner calm when your life feels stormy or out of control: whether that be from stress, anxiety, or negative thoughts, feelings, or experiences. It can also help you feel happier, have better attention and focus, and perform better at work, sports, and hobbies. The more you practice mindfulness, this way of paying attention on purpose, the more noticeable and long lasting these positive effects will be.
As you learn how to practice mindfulness, you will begin to develop and strengthen this sense of awareness, noticing what may be pleasant or unpleasant in your body or mind, and use this information to make new decisions that are more in line with what feels good or are more fulfilling to you.
A good example of this would be if someone has been practicing mindfulness a few times a week, noticing how their body was feeling as they breathed quietly for one minute each day, for the past few weeks. Usually by 5pm each day, they feel their energy is tapped, they are easily reactive, and are running on fumes to get through the rest of the day. After a week of their mindfulness practice, they notice themselves being less reactive around 5pm, feeling more energy than normal. This simple and short practice of mindfulness, with consistency, has made a tremendous impact on their life, and that is all it takes to see lasting changes. By breathing and tuning into their body for a short period each day, they have helped regulate their nervous system back to a state of balance, deepening their reservoir of resilience – allowing them to deal with their inevitable 5pm stressors, more effectively. The positive benefits of incorporating a practice into your day will slowly seep into your life, but with time and consistency, can really make a big impact.
Choosing How To React
Mindfulness also teaches us how to respond instead of just reacting automatically to situations or people. Think of your young person not doing what you ask or challenging your request of them, or someone cutting you off while driving — these are two examples of a stimulus that will cause you to respond. When you are in a tense or stressful situation, such as these two examples, you can use a simple mindfulness practice to help you navigate the negative emotion or experience more effectively. A brief pause, with a mindful breath, can allow you to quickly check in with your heart, body, and mind, then determine your feelings/emotions/thoughts around the situation, and then respond with more clarity, calm, and intention.
As Viktor Frankl so eloquently said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Mindfulness teaches us to use our awareness to recognize that space between any stimulus and our responses in our life so that we can respond wisely with intention more often instead of reacting blindly in a way we may later regret.
Once you know how to practice mindfulness, it can become a way of being that you can tap into whenever you want or need.
Are you Ready to Give It a Try?
Stop reading this and notice: are you breathing in or out? Are there loud noises around you? How many sounds can you hear? Are your feet cold, warm, or just right? Paying attention and noticing these things, without judging whatever we notice, is part of mindfulness.
Mindfulness for our Young People
For our young people, in its simplest form, mindfulness is simply paying attention to what is happening around them in the current moment. Whether that be what they are presently feeling, hearing, or seeing. They don’t need to achieve calm or clear their minds, they just need to experience the moment they are in, for what it is. Mindfulness can be introduced to our young people at any age. Children and young people are so receptive to mindfulness because it is their natural way of experiencing the world. Here we will explore mindfulness and how to translate this knowledge to our young people, so they can benefit as well.
Where do Mindfulness Practices come from?
Anyone can be mindful — it’s a natural way of being that is in all of us. You’ve been mindful plenty of times in your life before exploring this hub! When it comes to using specific practices to be mindful on purpose, it’s important to know that people have been practicing mindfulness for thousands of years through several different ancient Asian religious and spiritual philosophies, including Buddhism and Hinduism. Eventually these people brought their practices of mindfulness to every continent, including North America. In the last fifty years, more and more people have started practicing secular (non-religious) mindfulness in order to reduce their stress and improve their lives, and scientists have started studying its benefits. What you are reading about mindfulness in BLOOM today is the culmination of thousands of years of religious, philosophical, and now, scientific study.
We have all spent much of our lives developing our knowledge and intelligence in school and at work and strengthening our body with physical activity. Yet, more likely than not, you probably haven’t spent much time being taught how to train your mind, which is one of the most valuable skills you can have. When we take the time to practice mindfulness, we are actively training our mind and changing our brain in a positive way. We are making it stronger and more resilient, which can lead to all sorts of positive mental, emotional, physical, and social effects. These positive effects of practicing mindfulness can include increasing our ability to focus, helping us better recognize, understand, and regulate emotions, and being a more empathetic or caring friend and family member.
Practicing mindfulness points out the beauty and gift that can be found in the present moment — all around us, all the time.
It has the power to transform you into a person who is more AWARE and PRESENT. And a person who is more aware and present can make better decisions, can be more empathetic, and can be more connected to life unfolding right in front of them.
Learning to bring your awareness to the present moment can enrich your life and is one of the greatest skills you can cultivate. It can help you discover who you are and what makes you unique with greater understanding, and provide you with more clarity, insight, and compassion in how you relate to others and the world around you.
It also deepens your reservoir for resilience, allowing you to respond to difficult situations or emotions with more balance and equanimity.
When you practice mindful seeing, for instance, and take in your surroundings, such as the clouds moving across the sky, the wind in your face, or leaves falling from the trees, you begin to observe and notice all the wonderful finer details of life that you may not have seen before. This way of being is always available to you. It is a choice you can make about where to place your attention any moment you want. This is your true power.
When you practice mindfulness you experience the choice you always have over where and how your attention is directed.
The positive effects of mindfulness aren’t always instant. When you practice over and over, the benefits grow and grow, just like you improve at any skill the more you practice. More likely than not, practice may seem challenging, especially at the beginning, but all of a sudden you may start to notice feeling calmer throughout the day, less reactive to stressors, and maybe you even experience more feelings of gratitude than before. Speaking of which, maybe you’d like to try a mindfulness practice right now?
To read a teen’s personal story of how a mindfulness practice can positively impact your life, check out Tali’s story, here.
Why teaching mindfulness to our young person is beneficial
Just as mindfulness can help us navigate our lives more intentionally and build on the things that we enjoy and that benefit us in life, mindfulness can do the same for our young person. Teaching and modeling mindfulness can help them build on their self-esteem, manage stress and anxiety, and approach challenges with calm. Our young person’s mind is growing and developing during adolescence and helping them to practice mindfulness during this time can positively shape their concentration, memory, and social abilities. These are the basis to more advanced tasks that they will need to learn like critical thinking, planning, and reasoning skills. Giving them a good, solid base to build on for all these developing skills can be deeply beneficial to them, not only now, but throughout their lives.
Mornings can have the power to set the tone for the rest of your day.
When you first wake up, before looking at your phone or getting caught up by any other distractions, take a moment of quiet reflection for yourself.
Your morning ritual could be as simple as sitting up in your bed, eyes closed, and spending a moment or two focused on your breathing. While breathing, you can practice a simple moment of gratitude and think of something you are grateful for or set an intention (aim or focus) for your day.
As you develop this morning ritual, you can deepen your practice by sitting for longer periods and allowing more silence before you begin your day. You can think of this practice as a way to set yourself up for success for the day by regulating your nervous system in preparation for the day ahead.
Tips for practicing a morning ritual with your young person:
If you wake up your young person in the morning for school, take a few moments with them before getting out of bed to breathe deeply and calmly with their eyes closed. If you think they will prefer to try this practice independently, share this suggestion for them to develop this habit on their own.
At breakfast have everyone at the table name one thing they are grateful for.
Ask your young person to set a small, positive goal for themselves for the day, and support them in achieving it.
#2 Mindful Breathing
Remember You Are Always Breathing!
One of the easiest and most direct ways to bring your attention to the present moment is by bringing your attention to your breath. Your breath is always happening in the present moment whether you are thinking about it or not, and by bringing your attention to it, you are directly connecting yourself to the present moment as it is unfolding.
You can try this right now. As you take a few breaths, notice how you are breathing, if it is shallow or deep, and where in your body you feel it, whether it be in your chest, belly, or nose.
For a quick practice: Take three deep belly breaths in and out through your nose, focusing your attention on your inhale and exhale, noting where you feel the breath in your body. Repeat this three times and practice it as often as you need throughout the day. This practice can be especially useful in stressful circumstances.
Mindful breathing tips for practicing with them:
Practice listening and focusing on your breath with your young person. Try to do this with each other once a day, as well as each time you start to notice your emotions getting the best of you, especially when interacting with one another.
As you practice breathing in and out together, start to let each other know how your bodies are feeling: are there pains anywhere, does your breathing feel shallow or deep, is your heart beating fast or slow?
Doing these exercises together can help you move through the awkwardness you both may feel at first and build a deeper connection with one another. It may also help you both communicate better when you are feeling stressed or don’t see eye-to-eye on things.
#3 Mindful Listening
Practice Mindful/Active Listening
Many times, when someone is speaking to us, we are often caught up in our own mind thinking of what we are going to say next, without giving their words our full attention and consideration. Mindful listening is a way of listening without judgment, criticism, or interruption. Do this while at the same time as being aware of internal thoughts and reactions you may be experiencing that are actually getting in the way of people communicating with you effectively.
Next time you are in a conversation, try actively listening to the other person with your full attention and see what you notice. Is the conversation more enjoyable? Easier? Or something else? This type of mindful listening can lead to developing deeper and more authentic connections with others.
Tips to help your young person with mindful/active listening:
Practice sitting with your young person and just listening to the sounds going on around you both. You may hear the sound of a fan, rain or wind outside, or even the bustle of people moving around you. The key is starting to notice the sounds around you and developing awareness of them. You can do this inside or outside, mix it up! Decide together how much time you want to allow for your practice.
Talk about what you each heard, did you both hear the same things or did one of you focus more on certain sounds than the other?
As you start to feel more comfortable in your active listening practice, use these same guidelines only apply them to conversations you have with your young person. This can improve not only your listening skills but how well you comprehend and process what you are hearing. It is only when we slow down and turn our focus and attention to what the other person is saying, that we can truly hear them.
#4 Check in with Your Body
Tune into your Body
One of the most amazing aspects of your body is that it functions without you having to do anything — your heart beats, your lungs breathe, and your stomach processes and digests your food without you having to tell them to. Yet, your body also constantly sends you messages and feedback through different sensations that you might not always notice. It is an important tool for your health to make some time each day to tune into your body’s sensations and notice if you think it is trying to communicate something to you. Take a moment each day and check in with your body. What do you notice? Are there any pains or aches? Do you feel a sense of heaviness or lightness? Do you feel tight anywhere? By bringing your attention to your body, you are able to bring your attention to the present and also connect to the feedback and information your body is sending you so you can learn from your body.
The Practice
Set an alarm on your phone or watch for a specific time each day to check in with your body and do this practice. Take a deep breath and become fully aware of everything you feel through your senses (sight, sound, touch, taste, smell), including sensations in your body, the air on your skin, temperature of the room, sounds around you, etc. Notice, allow, and breathe through any discomfort that might come up from thoughts, feelings, or sensations you have.
Tips for strong emotions or sensations:
When you do this practice, it is normal for strong emotions or physical sensations to be there. If the emotions or sensations feel overwhelming, just stop the practice and give yourself some credit for trying it out! Many people have noticed that the more they practice, the more they are able to handle big emotions or sensations in their bodies.
If the emotions or sensations are not too overwhelming and you want to keep practicing, try this:
As you check in with your body and emotions, see if you can “feel” where the emotions live in your body. You might find that feelings of worry or anxiety cause discomfort in your chest and so on. Once you identify where that emotion lives in your body, you can bring your attention to it, and see if you can relax your body in that area. This can help release and soften the emotion or sensation you are feeling and maybe even its impact on you.
Tips for helping them learn how to tune into their bodies
Once a week (build up to daily) offer this practice to your young person, and/or make time to sit with them to do it together. Either laying flat on the floor, sitting cross-legged, or doing whatever is comfortable, actively /mindfully tune into the body.
If you are practicing together, tell each other what you are feeling, physically and emotionally. Help each other accept how you are feeling and feel safe sharing. If they are practicing alone, have them note to themselves, their sensations.
Try to help each other pinpoint where you hold certain emotions in your body and talk about it, how it makes you feel, what seems to soothe it, and what triggers those emotions and/or physical feelings.
Connecting with your young person on this level can help you both learn more deeply about each other and build on your relationship of safety and trust.
#5 Find Things to be Grateful For
Adopting an “attitude of gratitude” is a little practice that can have a big impact on your life! People who regularly practice gratitude make time in their day to notice and reflect on the people, places, and things they are thankful for. In doing so, studies suggest they experience more positive emotions, sleep better, have more compassion and kindness towards others, feel more alive, and even have stronger immune systems. This practice allows you to really savor and appreciate the goodness in your life.
It is best done daily for five minutes in the morning and five minutes before going to bed by reflecting in your favorite journal and writing down three things you are grateful for.
You can start by noting simple things that make your life better each day, for example, a friend or family member who helps you, a place like your home or school, or things like your favorite blanket, sweater, or pet.
This practice is also useful for moments when your life feels stormy or out of control, too. It is a powerful way to uplift your mind by focusing your attention in the present moment to what is positive in your life.
It is a way to gently bring the positive things to the forefront of your mind so that you are able to more easily come back into the present moment, rather than worrying about the future or thinking about difficulties in the past.
By focusing on the positive we become more available to create a more positive future and attract more of the things we do want in our life. Just remember, where your focus goes, energy flows!
Tips for practicing gratitude with your young person:
Start by asking your young person to name one thing they are thankful for in the morning before school, and once more in the evening right before bed. A great starting point is to name one thing that went really well for you that day.
Once they start to get quicker with their responses, ask them to increase that to three things they are thankful for or that went well that day, each morning and evening.
When they start really being able to rattle those off, ask them to start writing down their top three things they are grateful for or that went well, everyday in a journal. Keep this journaling going even if you forget the morning and evening gratefulness practices. If they have a BLOOM account, encourage them to journal online.
As they start to really develop their gratitude practice, you can begin to use this as a way to bring their attention back to what is positive in their life when they are feeling upset or when they are experiencing other strong negative emotions that they are having a hard time moving through. This can make a huge positive impact in their life, especially through all the ups and downs in the life of an adolescent.
#6 Mindful Movement // Walking
There are so many times throughout the day where the mind is distracted or on autopilot and you might wonder how you got from point A to point B without having to put much thought into it. By bringing mindful attention to your walking or movement, you can break free from this cycle, clearing your mind of any clutter, and restoring your sense of focus and attention to what is directly in front of you. The goal is simple and fun. Become consciously aware while moving.
As you walk or move, pay attention to the sensations of the body, and play with your movement. How do your feet feel when they each hit the ground? How do the other muscles of your body feel as you balance? Notice if and how your arms swing as you walk. Is it easier or more difficult to move if you slow down? As you become aware of your body and surroundings, see if you can open up your senses with a sense of curiosity and joy to experience the sights, sounds, and smells that surround you.
Mindful movement tips for practicing with them:
Mindful movement can be a really fun way to practice two positive habits in one practice. Take a walk outside (or any type of movement) with your young person and practice looking, feeling, and touching the things you experience around you as you walk. You get the two-fold benefit of exercise for your body and your mind!
You could start this by just walking with your young person once a week for five minutes and then slowly increase that number.
You could also switch it up and try some yoga or stretching. Really, you could do almost anything that involves movement and you don’t have to limit it to once a day; you can do it while walking into a store together or heading over to a sports practice. Just remember to focus your attention on the movement and your environment in the present moment and talk about it with each other. For example, do you both lead with the same foot and/or do one of you walk faster than the other?
#7 Tap into Your Flow State
It’s more likely than not that you have experienced a flow state at some point in your life. It is a state of mind and body where you are completely absorbed and intensely focused on your task at hand, unaffected by any distractions. In this state, time will feel like it has slowed down, your senses will be heightened, and your actions and awareness are in sync to respond with effortless momentum.
Tapping into a flow state is possible for everyone and can be achieved in a physical activity, creative pursuit, or even more mundane everyday tasks. Many people know this state as being “in the zone,” and it is an incredibly powerful state to be able to tap into.
Tapping into a flow state becomes easier the more you practice mindfulness meditation, because you are actively training your attention, focus, and concentration.
A flow state is essentially meditation in motion and is most easily accessible by doing something you love.
To create flow remember: you must be engaging in something you like or with an attitude of joy, the activity cannot be too easy or difficult, your mindset must be focused on the journey not the destination, process, or the end result.
Helping your young person tap into their flow state:
A good start for this is to make sure you find something your young person loves to do, like coloring or drawing, running, playing soccer, or even playing an instrument.
Once you decide on something, pick a time during the day that you think your young person is naturally at their best. Are they a morning person or a night owl? Do they work best after a meal or maybe just after a snack. If you aren’t sure, decide on a time when your young person is not too hungry, not too tired, and not too distracted by outside influences.
When you begin, try the activity together and then slowly give them more independence if you notice they have started to get in their zone. Once they do, enjoy the beauty, and be sure to recognize them for it, once they finish.
If they are having trouble finding their flow state, there is no pressure! Stay positive and keep the activity time fun, they will get there!
#8 Observe Your Surroundings with Mindful Seeing
Mindful seeing is the practice of taking in your surroundings by observing and noticing the finer details of life all around you in the present moment, without needing to label or judge them in any way. This is best practiced outdoors where you can experience the natural world around you.
You might notice:
The clouds moving across the sky,
People or animals walking by,
The wind against your face,
Leaves falling from the trees, or
The beautiful flowers.
There are so many ways to practice mindful seeing. Look for the small details, the things you find beautiful, and the quiet things in life and the world around you. When you take in these details, notice how they make you feel inside. Another level of mindfulness, unlocked. This practice reveals the beauty and gift that can be found in the present moment — all around you, all the time. Practicing this way, through how you observe the world, shows you the choice you always have over where and how your attention is directed. This choice of where you place your attention is always yours.
Tips to help them practice mindful seeing:
This can be a super fun way to spend some time with your young person.
To start, it is best to get outside and be in nature.
Talk to your young person about what you see around you, discuss if you both see the same things or notice different things.
Then you can start to talk with each other about the tiniest of details you see, and what each of you finds beautiful about what you see.
Notice and talk about what details seem to keep your attention more than others.
The more you practice this with your young person, the more this will become a way of being for them in their daily life, and what a beautiful gift indeed
#9 Try Mindful Eating
A really great and enjoyable way to bring your attention to the present moment is when you eat. Sometimes we aren’t paying attention to the food we eat because we’re distracted and busy doing other things at the same time. This can often lead to mindless eating where you may eat way more than you meant to or so fast that you didn’t realize you were already full. When you take time to eat mindfully, you can bring yourself into the experience, truly appreciate your food, and engage all five of your senses.
Start with a small portion, look at your food, noticing the colors, aromas, and textures. Think about where your food came from, and all of the people, plants, and animals that helped make this food for you. Take a moment to practice gratitude in your mind and heart, saying “thank you” for all the work that it took to bring you this food.
Use your nose to smell the aromas your food has to offer.
As you chew slowly and thoroughly, feel the textures in your mouth, like soft, hard, chewy, warm, or cold.
Listen to the sounds the foods make as you chew the food and focus on the diverse flavors you taste.
The more you practice mindful eating, the more enjoyment and nourishment you will experience when eating.
Tips to help them practice mindful eating:
Make a goal to have one meal with your young person at least once a day, if this is not doable, make a time that works for your family.
During your meal-time, plate out your portions and talk about the food on your plate, how many different colored foods are there, do each have an aroma, or how many different textures are on each plate.
Together take small bites and chew your bites slowly and thoroughly, noticing how they taste and feel in your mouth. Comment back and forth on this experience.
Start to bring this practice into every time you eat and talk about what you each are noticing and if any food habits have changed over time since you started.
There is a great opportunity here for your young person to start understanding how different foods make them feel as they digest and what foods fill them up or give them more energy during the day.
#9 Find A Friend!
Developing a mindfulness practice doesn’t always have to be something you do alone. Lots of times mindfulness is practiced in a community or group setting. Community support is key to developing and maintaining a practice. If you tend to be more social, or like the accountability, connection, and support that community or group members bring to the experience, find a friend or group to practice with! There are some awesome apps and organizations that offer teen-centered mindfulness classes, retreats, and practices on their website and in-person.
How to encourage mindfulness practice in a group setting with them:
If your young person enjoys their solitude then that is perfectly okay and great! We each are different and we can practice differently too. Take moments in the day to practice with them, and support them in their solo practice as well.
If your young person may enjoy a group setting for some of their mindfulness practices, go together to a community group or try a retreat together to get them started.
You can always go to group practices separately and make time to practice together once a week.
Sometimes all you need is a friend. If your young person needs a little more motivation than just practicing with you or they shy away from it altogether, they might benefit from a little positive peer pressure. Try to encourage one of their friends to commit to some mindfulness practice with them. Start small, trying for once a week and then encourage them to build from there.
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