According to the CDC, suicide is death caused by injuring oneself with the intent to die. A suicide attempt is when someone harms themselves with the intent to end their life, but they do not die as a result of their actions. Suicidal ideation refers to thinking about, considering, or planning suicide.
Why do people attempt suicide and why aren’t they getting the help they need?
Usually, a combination of factors can contribute to someone thinking about commiting suicide. The topic of mental health is so stigmatized that many people feel like they will be looked down upon for struggling mentally. It causes those who are affected to suffer in silence, afraid of asking for support. Fifty percent of people reported that they are afraid of the stigma surrounding mental health challenges. Risk factors increase the possibility of suicide, but they might not necessarily be the direct causes.
Suicide Risk Factors
The following characteristics or conditions are important to be aware of as they are indicators that your young person or someone you know could be at a greater risk of attempting to take their life.
Warning Signs of Suicidal Intent
The following may be signs of suicidal intent and should be taken seriously.
If you or someone you know:
Talks about or feels like wanting to die / wanting to kill themselves
Is looking for a way to kill themselves, such as searching online for materials or means
Talks about or feels hopeless / having no reason to live
Talks about or feels trapped / is in unbearable pain
Talks about or feels like a burden to others
Increased use of alcohol or drugs
Acts anxious or agitated; behaves recklessly
Has started sleeping too little or too much
Is withdrawing, isolating themselves from friends and family, or showing decreased interest in activities
Is showing or feeling rage / talking about seeking revenge
Talking about suicide is a hard thing to do, especially if it involves your young person. If your adolescent is thinking of suicide, they may be feeling overwhelming anxiety, or feel as though they hate themselves and do not deserve to live. They may have racing thoughts that prevent them from concentrating or even getting to sleep. Alternately, they might feel tired all the time, with little motivation to do anything other than sleep. Stress, conflict, unhealthy relationships, hardships, mental illness, and substance use are all factors that can lead to thoughts of suicide. Along with these feelings, they may also feel alone, as though no one would understand what they are going through. It is important to let them know that this isn’t the case. Reassure your young person as frequently and gently as you can that they are loved and appreciated. About one in four people will experience a mental health challenge before the age of 18 and it’s more common than we think. Sometimes it may seem easier for your young person to keep these thoughts to themselves. They might feel that if they were to open up about their feelings, they would be a burden to you, other family members, or friends. They may feel hopeless and that they have nowhere to turn. Gentle reminders that you are there for them to listen and support them no matter what can make a big difference in helping them to open up about how they are feeling. Perhaps they may think that asking for help is a sign of weakness and that they should be able to deal with what they are going through on their own. Nobody needs to go through this alone and your support and love as a caregiver can help them put a voice to their thoughts, which is often the first step in helping them get better.
Remind them often that they are not a burden; they are not alone, you are always there for them no matter what. Reinforce to them that having the courage to seek help when they need it is admirable and a sign of strength. For them, reaching out means that they are ready to get the support that they need and deserve. Make sure they know that you, along with the help of mental health professionals if needed, can help relieve the pain they feel and there is no shame in asking for support. Encourage them to reach out to you or anyone they trust and feel comfortable with. Sometimes it is easier for young people to talk to a trusted close friend about what they are going through, before they open up to a caregiver. This is perfectly normal and is a great first step for them to realize their needs and ask for support. The more they can give voice to the harmful feelings they are having, the less control those thoughts will have over them, which will increase the chances they will get the help they need. Starting the conversation with a caregiver can be nerve-racking for them, but with a close friend by their side they may feel calmer and more comfortable. Taking the first step is what counts. If you feel like they are hesitant to open up to you, sometimes starting the conversation and expressing gentle caring and concerning thoughts can help them start talking and ease them into a deeper conversation about how they are feeling.
If for some reason, as a caregiver, you don’t feel comfortable in this role or your young person resists opening up to you, there are resources and support systems out there that your young person can access which are offered nationally or even within your own community. Reaching out to a crisis hotline will give them the tools to access an experienced counselor who can help them brainstorm strategies specific to their needs. Contrary to popular belief, they don’t need to be in crisis to talk to someone on one of these hotlines. Hotline counselors are trained to listen and can help them with a mental health issue no matter how small. By calling a crisis hotline or contacting some of the other resources below, they can get started on a path to a brighter future. Please urge your young person not to keep what they are feeling to themselves. They are not alone, they matter, and they deserve help.
A large part of maintaining your emotional well-being is taking the time to utilize a coping strategy when you feel worked up. Coping strategies are ways we learn to manage various stressors, and everyone copes with stress differently. Some examples of possible coping strategies to share with your young person are:
Strategy #1:
Mindfulness Exercises
Mindfulness is defined as the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something. Many people adopt this into various different exercises that can be used when a person may experience anxiety. A few examples of these are Mindful Breathing, Mindful Observation, and Mindful Listening. Mindfulness teaches us how to respond to stress with an awareness of what is happening in the present moment, rather than simply acting instinctively, and being unaware of what emotions or motives may be driving that decision.
Aerobic exercises such as walking, bicycle riding, and swimming have been proven to reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. Some of the beneficial effects of physical activity are that it offers a distraction, social interaction, and promotes self-capability. It is also proposed that physical exercise increases one’s mood because it increases the blood flow to the brain and provides deep pressure sensory input, which can be regulating to our bodies.
Though it may be difficult to get started, exercise can make a huge difference. Even just taking a walk can be a great start to incorporating exercise into a self-care regime. Starting with a ten-minute workout, and working from there is a great way to begin! If aerobic exercise isn’t an option, many people support their mental health by practicing yoga.
If you’re looking for exercise ideas for your young person or want to learn how to get started, visit BLOOM’s Exercise section of the HUB. And if you are looking for an exercise and a substance recovery community, specifically, check out The Phoenix.
Strategy #3: Eating Well
A change in one’s diet, such as drinking more water or eating more fruits and vegetables can increase your mood, energy levels, and overall health and well-being. Limiting caffeine and sugar might have a more dramatic impact than you’d think! For tips on how to best fuel your body, check out BLOOM’s Nutrition & Recipes section of the HUB or try some options from the Eating with Mental Health in Mind guide. For healthy recipes that consider a limited time and budget, check out www.Mealtime.org.
Strategy #4: Pets
Taking care of an animal is a great way to relieve stress and reduce isolation. Pets have been shown to increase one’s feelings of responsibility and feelings of being needed. Animals can bring comfort to those who may need it, and caring for a furry or scaly friend can give you a sense of purpose.
If caring for animals could improve your young person’s mental health, see if a local animal shelter needs volunteers!
Strategy #5: Sleep
A lack of sleep can contribute to a higher rate of depression in young people. Make sure your young person is getting plenty of sleep, so their body can recuperate after a stressful day.
If they are having trouble getting an average of eight hours of sleep each night, try limiting their screen time and caffeine before bed and check out BLOOM’s Sleep section of the HUB for more tips and tools.
Strategy #6: Social Connectedness
Social connection improves physical health as well as mental and emotional well-being. Take a moment to include your young person in a call to family, have them message a friend, or find some ways to get them involved in your community or school. Reaching out and connecting with others is just as important for mental health as eating well and getting exercise!
Check your town’s or library’s local calendar for free ways your young person can connect with people!
Strategy #7: Creative Expression
Expressing one’s creativity can give people an outlet for their emotions. Creative expression can be a variety of things including painting, dancing, poetry, etc. Art is utilized as a tool in various psychological practices.
Many cities and towns offer drop-in style community centers that create space for young people to get creative.
Strategy #8: Hobbies
Hobbies can allow people to unwind after a stressful day, and enjoy doing something they love. Helping your young person find a hobby they find fun is another positive way for them to enjoy themselves.
Strategy #9: Spirituality
Spirituality is defined as the “quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul, as opposed to material or physical things.” This doesn’t necessarily have to mean a belief in a Higher Power. Spirituality is doing anything that makes our soul happy. This, again, means different things for different people. Some examples could be meditating, prayer, hiking, or fishing. Connecting with the natural world can also bring calm and centeredness to an individual.
Strategy #10: Music
Music offers a way for people to relate something to their emotions. Many people will say that nothing is better than blaring one of their favorite songs after a long day.
What if my young person is experiencing suicide ideation?
Tell them that they are not alone! You are here for them and there are people and organizations who are ready and willing to help!
Supporting & Communicating
The first step to helping loved ones who are struggling: Asking the question,”Are You OK?”
How to care for your young person if they are feeling hopeless?
Encourage them to open up and share their feelings. Or ask them if they would feel more comfortable speaking with a mental health professional or trusted friend.
Remind them to be kind to themselves. Tell them to treat themselves like they would treat others they care about if they were experiencing the same feelings as them and know that help is always available.
Reinforce to them that you want to be part of their support network and can help them find the resources that they need. This can be in the form of online organizations or local crisis centers located right within your community.
Help them identify and seek out the things that make them happy and start doing them.
Make a safety plan. Fill out and share Suicide Prevention Lifeline’s Safety plan with any trusted adult they want in their support network.
Say yes to therapy! Help them seek out and be open to the many options for care that are available to them.
Build on mindfulness exercises. They can start by building awareness and noticing the negative thoughts and feelings they are experiencing. Once they are able to start catching themselves in that negativity, have them replace those thoughts with positive thoughts or actions that will help them create positive emotions. If you and/or your young person would like to give some mindfulness strategies a try, check out BLOOM’s Mindfulness section.
Remind them to practice the self-care strategies below and take time to enjoy things that bring them calmness and comfort and joy.
How to be an Ally to someone you care about
Never ignore or dismiss comments about suicide. If needed, speak to a therapist or doctor about this.
Recognize the symptoms of suicide ideation and depression.
Calmly ask them if they want to or intend to harm themselves. Seek immediate professional help if they do.
Offer unconditional emotional support, understanding, patience, and encouragement.
Talk to them, but hold back from asking too many questions or lecturing.
Listen carefully with empathy and support, and acknowledge/validate the pain or sadness they are suffering.
Never dismiss feelings, but point out realities and offer hope.
Be persistent, even if you are shut out initially. Gently be respectful of their comfort levels, as depression can be difficult for young people to talk about, but emphasize your concern and willingness to listen.
Discourage isolation and invite your young person out for walks, outings, and other activities. Keep trying even if they decline, but don’t push them to take on too much too soon.
Remind them how much you care for them and that they are not alone.
Safely store any unsafe objects that can be accessible (e.g., alcohol, firearms, medications, etc.)
Monitor their consistency with medications and treatment protocols.
Never keep secrets about self-harm or suicide ideation.
Don’t give up hope on them, treatment is available and it may take time to find the right fit.
Local resources for families and allies
Ask your family or primary care doctor, pediatrician, or ob-gyn physician for a referral.
Students who are in school, and their families, can talk to the school guidance counselor.
Contact your local community mental health center.
Those in a college or university can contact the Student Counseling Center or Health Center.
Connect to a clinic or treatment facility associated with a local medical school or graduate training program in psychology, counseling, or social work.
Contact the Department of Psychiatry at your local hospital.
If there is a university in your area, inquire whether they have a Depression Research Center or other mental health services.
Suicide Safety Plan: Download for Apple and Android
A list of coping strategies and social supports to use when in a suicidal crisis or very distressed.
Mental Health Crisis Plan from SAMHSA: Download for Apple and Android
In just a few minutes, you can put a plan in place to guide your care in case of a mental health crisis.
MY3 Support Network: Download for Apple and Android
With the MY3 App you can be prepared to help yourself and reach out to your support network when you are feeling suicidal.
Calm Harm: Download for Apple and Android
This app helps young people manage the urge to self-harm.
Not OK: Download for Apple and Android
A free digital panic button to get you immediate support via text, phone call, or GPS location when you’re struggling to reach out.
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