We all feel sad, down, or irritable from time to time and that’s perfectly normal. These changes in our moods are our way to deal with the normal ups and downs of life. However, some people experience changes in their moods that become so extreme and severe that it affects their everyday emotional state and functioning. When this is the case, we say they suffer from a mental health condition called a mood disorder, also sometimes called affective disorder.
People diagnosed with a mood disorder experience extended periods of time when they feel extremely sad, empty, irritable (depressed), excessively happy (mania), or both alternatively. Those symptoms are usually present for several weeks or longer and are known to affect one’s ability to deal with daily activities such as work or school.
Your young person, like everyone else, goes through times when they feel sad, down, or irritable. That is very normal. However, does your young person sometimes have moods that are a little extreme and overwhelming? Do you ever wonder if they may have a mood disorder? Mood disorders are not uncommon. Quite a few adolescents are diagnosed with them, actually. In the U.S., an estimated 14.3% of adolescents between the ages of 13 and 18 have had a mood disorder, and 11.2% of those had severe symptoms that interfered with their daily life.
You may be wondering how to distinguish between a normal “bad mood” and a possible mood disorder in your young person. You should know that preteens and teens may show different symptoms than adults when it comes to mood disorders. Here is a list of the most common symptoms to watch out for.
Warning Signs of Mood Disorders
- Ongoing feelings of deep sadness
- Feelings of despair, helplessness, worthlessness, and guilt
- Feelings of wanting to die, suicidal thoughts
- Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed
- Trouble with relationships, feeling isolated
- Sleep disturbances
- Changes in appetite or weight
- Very low energy, fatigue, crying, anxiety
- Problems focusing or making decisions
- Running away from home or threatening to do so
- Being hypersensitive to failure and rejection
- Being overly grouchy, hostile, or angry
The above symptoms are an indication that a person may be dealing with a mood disorder but they don’t indicate which one. It’s important for a trained mental health professional to conduct an evaluation in order to identify if indeed one is suffering from a mood disorder, and if they are, which one.
Here is a list of the most common types of mood disorders. Symptoms will vary from one young person to the next and can range from mild to severe.
Major Depressive Disorder
Preteens and teens with this disorder have chronic feelings of sadness or worthlessness, irritability, physical lethargy, and possible suicidal thoughts that last for at least 2 weeks.
Persistent Depressive Disorder (Dysthymia)
Preteens and teens with dysthymia have long-lasting, low grade, depressed, or irritable moods for at least one year.
Bipolar Disorder
Preteens and teens with bipolar disorder have bouts of major depression and periods of mania (e.g., euphoria, poor judgment, extreme risk-taking activities,or times of flat or dulled emotional response), in a frequently debilitating cycle.
Mood disorder related to another health problem
Certain medical conditions such as cancer, infections, or chronic illnesses can trigger depression symptoms in young people.
Substance-induced mood disorder
In this case, depression symptoms are caused by the effects of medicine, drug abuse, alcoholism. or exposure to toxins.
Supporting & Communicating with your Young Person
Maybe you recognized your young person in some of the descriptions of symptoms you just read. If that is the case, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they have a mood disorder. What it means is that they should probably see a trained mental health professional who will be able to identify if they do. Mood disorders do not go away on their own. If left unaddressed and untreated they might get worse over time, thus creating more unnecessary pain and suffering. With the right treatment, however, your young person’s mood can stabilize and over time they can return to a healthy level of functioning so they can fully enjoy their life again.
Compassionate and effective communication with your young person is going to be key in showing them that you care about them and that you want to support them. Talking to your young person about how they feel can be a challenging and intimidating task, but it is also a vital part of helping them cope with their difficulties so they can heal. As you are working on establishing a caring and helpful way of communicating with your young person, you may want to bear in mind the following suggestions and conversation starters.
Be fully present and focused on them
Set some time aside and away from distractions and noisy surroundings. Let them know that this time is for them and about them. Listen carefully to what they are ready to share with you, make eye contact, and avoid interrupting them or judging them. It’s important that they feel they have your undivided and unconditional love and attention.
Educate yourself
If you wish to talk to your young person about mood disorders or depression, it’s essential that you learn all you can about how these disorders affect adolescents. The more you know about a given disorder, the symptoms, and the treatment options, the easier it’ll be for you to understand what your young person is going through and how to help them cope with it.
Start the conversation
Before you start a conversation with your young person, remember that it is essential that your voice be gentle, calm, and reassuring when you talk to them. Your peaceful voice and presence will make them feel safe and will help them open up to you. A good and straightforward way to start a conversation with your young person is by letting them know what you’ve observed/noticed.
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- “I noticed that you’ve been feeling sad and a little withdrawn recently. Is there anything going on that’s making you feel that way?”
- “I noticed that you’ve been getting angry more easily lately. I really would like to understand what’s going on. Will you tell me more about what’s happening?”
- “You seem really stressed these days. Are you okay? I’m right here if you ever want to talk.”
- “You know, it’s normal to feel stressed/irritable/sad/tired at times, but if you end up feeling that way all the time then it would be a good thing for us to talk about it. Things don’t have to be this way and there are ways for you to feel better.”
- “I noticed that you seem a little depressed/sad/tired lately. Is that how you feel at the moment? Would you like to talk about it?” or “I want you to know I’m here for you if you need to talk.”
Encourage treatment
Remember that mood disorders don’t get better on their own, therefore the sooner your young person gets the appropriate treatment for their mood disorder, the better chance they have to return promptly to a more normal and fulfilling life. Talk to them about treatment options and provide them with resources. By doing so, you will educate them about the options available to them, without being forceful. Being forceful can be counterproductive because for any treatment to be effective, your young person must want to get help and get better.
Normalize
If you have been affected by depression or a mood disorder yourself, it can be very helpful to share your experience with your young person. This way you will normalize what they are going through and as a result they may feel less alone in what they’re experiencing.
Validate their feelings
There is nothing worse for your young person, or for anyone else for that matter, to have their feelings and emotions minimized or dismissed. This means that it is very important to be careful of any statements that might minimize how they feel (e.g., “Come on, snap out of it!”; “Get your act together!”; “Cheer up!”; “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”).
Be patient
One of the best ways to help them is to show patience and compassion. Recovery from a mood disorder takes time and you should be prepared for setbacks and challenges.
Be aware of and accept your own limits
Remember that you cannot cure your preteen’s or teen’s mood disorder or depression. It’s not your role. All you can do is offer compassionate and adequate support, which is huge because research shows that people with a mood disorder who receive caring support from those close to them tend to have milder symptoms and recover more quickly.
10 Tips for Supporting Your Young Person
As you work on establishing compassionate and caring ways of communicating with your young person, it is important that you be there for them in other ways. Encourage them every way you can to practice self-care and to be kind to themselves. This is crucial to their well-being and long-term recovery. Here are a few suggestions you can communicate to them on how they can learn to practice self-care.
- Build their support network – Encourage them to reach out to those they feel will be a great support to them besides you. This can be a family member, a school counselor, a peer, their place of worship, or a community support group. There are different people who can relate to how they are feeling and who can support them. Talking to someone who listens will make them feel understood and more capable of coping. It’s essential that your young person knows they are not alone.
- Create a toolkit of things that are uplifting for them – Being surrounded with people and activities your young person enjoys is an effective way to feel supported, secure, and less upset and anxious about things. Making an effort to stay active and involved in the things that give them joy, no matter how simple these are, will be uplifting for them and something they can look forward to.
- Create a positive mindset by managing negative emotions – Set the example by showing them how choosing to adopt a positive attitude is a great way to keep their mind off the things that may upset or worry them. Our brain cannot both worry and think positively at the same time. It’s just not wired for it.
- Focus on self-care – Explain to your young person that their body and mind have the capacity to feel peaceful and to develop coping strategies. For this to happen, however, they need three simple yet very important things: enough sleep and rest, healthy eating habits, and plenty of exercise.
- Reduce their stress – Motivate them to lower their stress levels by having them set priorities, avoid procrastination, simplify their expectations, and always ask for help when they are overwhelmed.
- Set a routine – Having a routine (e.g., laying out clothes the night before, following meal schedules, dimming the lights, and turning off electronics before bed) can make them feel grounded and prepared.
- Journal – Encourage your young person to write their feelings and thoughts in a journal. Doing so may help them reflect on their concerns and explore healthy options. It can also be calming to them to write their objectives, reminders, and to-do’s down so that those don’t linger in their mind.
- Avoid substances that can exacerbate their symptoms, such as drugs and alcohol.
- Boost their self-confidence – Doing things such as exercising, eating healthy, helping others, and participating in an activity your young person is good at can boost their self-image, self-esteem, and sense of self-worth. They need to learn to do things that make them feel good about themselves.
- Seek a therapist your young person can trust and confide in – It’s very important that you become your preteen’s or teen’s advocate and help them find a mental health professional whose job it is to support preteens and teens who struggle with mood disorders and/or depression. Once again, mood disorders don’t go away on their own. Adequate professional support will play a crucial role in your young person’s recovery and will help them return to the life they love and enjoy.
There are also several other resources such as websites and helplines you can share with your young person. Let your young person know that they can reach out for help through them to find immediate support if need be.
Additional Resources
Suicide/Crisis Support Hotline: 1‑800‑273‑TALK (8255)
Or text the Crisis Text Line – “HELLO” to 741741
National Alliance on Mental Health: 1 (800) 950-6264
The compassionate staff at NAMI are trained to help you manage a mental health crisis and understand the struggles people with bipolar disorder face.
Crisis Text Line: Text “CONNECT” to 741741
This helpline provides support through text messages during crisis situations OR if you just want to talk because you are feeling angry, frustrated, scared, or hurt because of a bipolar episode.
Covenant House Teen Hotline: 1-800-TLC-TEEN (852-8336)
1-310-855-HOPE (4673) or text “TEEN” to 839863
Boys Town National Hotline: 1-800-448-3000
This hotline is for all teenagers struggling with any kind of crisis. It’s available 24/7.
SAMHSA’s National Helpline: 1-800-662-4357
This helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, treatment referral and information service for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance disorders.
Teen Tribe: www.support.therapytribe.com/teen-support-group
This website provides peer-to-peer group support for teens who go through challenging times. This is a free service.
ADAA Directory:
www.adaa.org/supportgroups
This website allows teens and family members to search support groups in their local area, as well as phone or online groups.
