A new U.S. Gallup poll found that one in six Gen Z youth identify as LGBTQIA+, a total of 15% of the entire generation. A 2020 study by the Trevor Project found that 40% of all LGBTQIA+ adolescents have experienced suicidality in the past year. Among those youth, trans and nonbinary youth were at an elevated risk, with nearly half of the sample having experienced suicidal ideation.
A 2019 study found that 86% of LGBTQIA+ teenagers in the U.S. had experienced harassment at school. The implications of such bullying can persist far beyond high school, as academic performance can be impacted by the chronic absenteeism rendered by bullying. In 2015, a CDC study found that LGBTQIA+ students were 140% more likely to miss school at least one day during the 30 days prior to the survey because of safety concerns, compared to heterosexual students. Such experiences can culminate in dropping out to avoid bullying.
LGBTQIA+ identifying youth are six times more likely to engage in self-harming behaviors than their straight peers. One identity group within the LGBTQIA+ community that is particularly susceptible to self-harming behaviors are cis-female adolescents who identify as bisexual, approximately 43% of which engage in self-harming behaviors.
Caregivers & LGBTQIA+ Allyship
The presence of symptoms of mental health/behavioral health concerns in LGBTQIA+ youth are not organic, they are more often than not a result of psychosocial stressors and structural oppression. That is to say, being an LGBTQIA+ individual increases the likelihood of carrying certain mental health diagnoses, but it is easily attributable to environmental factors. One may present with symptoms of depression, not because of an innate mood disorder, but rather because they’ve been bullied at school or fear rejection by their families. As such, it is critical that caregivers are prepared to be allies and support their youth in navigating their burgeoning sexuality and gender identity. To ally is a verb, so how can you ensure that you’re being action oriented?
Actionable Allyship
- Ensure your young person has access to films and books which feature positive LGBTQIA+ characters.
- Don’t assume the gender identity or sexual orientation of individuals without asking, this will normalize deviation from cis-het identities.
- Advocate for your young person’s school to offer comprehensive, LGBTQIA+ inclusive sexual education.
- Advocate for school curriculum to feature LGBTQIA+ history and to highlight the contributions of LGBTQIA+ individuals.
- Educate yourself about LGBTQIA+ issues so that you can be better equipped to be an agent of change.
Coming Out
Even if they’re confident their identity will be received with total acceptance, coming out still requires LGBTQIA+ youth to reveal themselves to their caregivers in a way their cis/straight peers do not. When the universally accepted default setting is cis/straight, LGBTQIA+ youth must continue to initiate conversations about topics they mightn’t always feel comfortable discussing with their caregivers. For example, talking about who they find attractive or whether or not their physical bodies feel in alignment with their sense of self. “Coming out” is a lifelong process, a conversation which continues to occur every time an LGBTQIA+ individual encounters a new person who assumes they’re cis-het due to that being the majority of the population. So how can you support your young person and elevate their protective factors?
Supporting Youth in Coming Out
- Be explicit about your unconditional love.
- Don’t make assumptions about identity or sexual orientation.
- Let your young person know that orientation and identity often evolve over time, and that there is no expectation that they remain static in any aspect of their self-identity.
- Normalize being LGBTQIA+ by consuming media with LGBTQIA+ characters.
- Condemn bigotry and promote unconditional positive regard.
- Ensure that you create adequate opportunities (like longer one-on-one walks) for your young person to check in with you about things which may be going on in their lives.
- Be emotionally available to your young person as they engage in the process of coming out, and seek additional support for yourself to integrate this new information as needed.
- Respect their timeline, don’t pressure your young person to come out to others until they are comfortable to do so and initiate the conversation.
- Once youth do come out, use the name and pronouns that they ask you to use.
- Find the support that you need to support your young person. A local PFLAG chapter or a therapist could be a great resource to process your feelings with, but your young person is not.
- Do not make any assumptions about what it means to be LGBTQIA+, anticipate that your young person will have a unique experience.
Warning Signs they May be Struggling
- Changes in appetite
- Changes in sleep cycle
- Increased isolation
- Increased irritability
- Racing thoughts or heart rate
- Changes in academic performance
- Decreased interest or participation in hobbies or social activities
- Increased use of substances
Finding the Right Providers
It is important to recognize that even youth who feel very close to and supported by their caregivers sometimes benefit from having a neutral adult to listen to. Discussing the way that you are relating to your body or navigating a new understanding of your sexual attraction can be really uncomfortable for youth. If your young person is seeking support in navigating the coming out process or better understanding some aspect of their identity, it is super important to ensure they’re matched with a provider who specializes in working with LGBTQIA+ individuals.
Be sure that the provider is LGBTQIA+ affirming. Despite being banned in many states, some providers continue to use conversion therapy practices. Conversion therapy is incredibly dangerous for LGBTQIA+ youth, eroding a youth’s concept of self and self-worth. The Trevor Project found that 57% of trans and nonbinary youth who have participated in conversion therapy had previously had a suicide attempt in the last calendar year.
One benefit of COVID-19 is that many mental health providers are now serving individuals remotely throughout the country. This allows for youth from more geographically isolated areas to receive specialized mental health treatment. Refer to BLOOM’s article, finding the right provider for more information about this process.
Lastly, do not underestimate the power of positive peer relationships and a sense of community! The same Trevor Project study (2020) previously mentioned also found that 98% of LGBTQIA+ youth reported that a safe space for LGBTQIA+ peers would be really helpful. Look into your local Gay Straight Alliances or LGBTQIA+ youth drop-in centers to try to find spaces for your young person to establish friendships with other LGBTQIA+ youth.
Finally, being a caregiver is hard. Our social landscape is ever evolving, and it can be really challenging to navigate something that is unfamiliar, especially when we want to be the best caregiver that we can be. It is okay to need support. Find a therapist or a peer support group to have a space to process through and integrate this new information. Being an attentive and supportive caregiver requires that you are also being kind to yourself.
Resources for Families
- Websites like The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG, and HRC feature articles and guidance for and by LGBTQIA+ families.
- If you are a religious family, you might find one of these guides for LGBT+ Catholics, Evangelical Christians, Jews, Mormons, or Muslims useful.
- The Trevor Project: (866) 488-7386
- The GLBT National Youth Talkline: (800) 246-7743
Specifically for Neurodivergent Youth & their Families
- Websites like Twainbow and ProjectLets provide specific support, guidance, and resources for neurodivergent individuals, including those with specific learning, physical, and mental health needs, who are also LGBT+.
- Supporting Transgender, Autistic Youth and Adults, by Gratton
- Queerly Autistic: The Ultimate Guide for LGBTQIA+ Teens on the Spectrum by Erin Ekins.
