An inclusive guide to puberty, periods, and providing support through period dysphoria.
Author Jen Bell | Reviewed by Staci Tanouye, M.D.
Going through puberty and starting your first period can be challenging for anyone, and being transgender adds another emotional layer. Many, but not all, trans and nonbinary youth experience gender dysphoria or period dysphoria – when a person experiences distress because of a mismatch between their anatomy and their gender identity.
If your preteen or teen doesn’t identify as a girl but still gets a period, this can cause discomfort and anxiety — especially because many people still equate menstruation with “femaleness.”
Learn how to be a supportive caregiver, especially around your transgender youth and menstruation.
When to Start Talking About Periods
You want to explain menstruation well before you think they will start puberty. Periods can start in kids as young as 8 years old, and trends show that the age periods start continues to trend downward. Consider having an initial conversation about periods early so that by the time they have their period, it is normalized.
Need advice on how to approach the period talk? Learn how to bring up the menstruation conversation.
BLOOM TIP > If your teen prefers to learn about menstruation on their own time, encourage them to explore the BLOOM TEEN HUB.
How to Talk About Menstruation With Inclusivity
Be Supportive
The most important thing when talking about periods with your trans or nonbinary preteen or teen is to mention that they’re normal. Being someone who can menstruate does not mean that your child is a girl or woman.
Be gentle, be flexible, and don’t be pushy. Offer your preteen or teen lots of resources and listen to what they have to say. They’ll open up when they’re ready.
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Be Mindful of Your Language
Changing the way you talk about periods with your child can make a huge difference. It’s easy to make statements like “now you’re a woman!” but try not to.
Speak about periods in a gender-neutral way. You can say “menstrual products” instead of “feminine products.” It’s a small change in language, but you can make period talk feel much more affirming for your preteen or teen. If you change how you think and talk about periods, your child might be more willing to talk with you about them.
Ask How They Want to Talk About Their Period
Next, talk to your preteen or teen and see how they want to talk about their period. Maybe they want to call it their “time of the month,” or maybe saying “period” is fine for them. They might want to refer to themselves as “someone who can menstruate.”
The important thing is that you ask them! Reassure them that you want to talk about their period on their terms, and then listen and use the language they ask you to use.
Help Them Find Period Products
Ask your preteen or teen what kinds of period products they want, and be willing to experiment. Some transgender teens or preteens don’t like how pads make them very aware they are bleeding, and some don’t like tampons or menstrual cups because they don’t want to insert anything in their vagina.
Offer to get them whatever products make them feel comfortable. Be flexible — what might feel good one month might not feel good another one.
Check out our period product guide for a comprehensive guide on menstruation product options.
Encourage Them To Track Their Period
When your preteen or teen tracks their period they can be prepared for when their next period is coming, and have all the information they need for their next doctor or gynecologist visit.
Finding Support for Transgender and Nonbinary Menstruation
If menstruating really bothers your preteen or teen, seek support — find the right health care provider that can support you and your preteen or teen with gender-affirming recommendations for their period.
Parenting can leave you feeling overwhelmed and alone, but at BLOOM you have a team behind you. Access Live and On-Demand Workshops led by the experts. Get answers to your most pressing questions through our Ask the Expert Platform. Find your village and share ideas in our Community Group surrounded by fellow parents and caregivers. Or get personalized coaching in 1-on-1 Coaching Sessions tailored to your needs. We know raising tweens and teens is hard – that’s why we created BLOOM to nurture you through the challenges and help you flourish.
