As often happens with parenting, just as something begins to make sense and you feel like you have a handle of “parenting,” it changes — again! This definitely holds true when our young people hit their teen years. Our children want to be with us when they are little, but as they age, they seek more independence and their own new adventures.
Often we are left staring at the back of their heads as they walk out the front door to be with their friends. This can simultaneously feel freeing and yet it may be difficult to let them go.
How can we support our tweens and teens through these changes? And, more importantly, how can we support ourselves so we can better handle their newly found independence?
Tips for Navigating Teen Independence
As they start to venture out more and are finding their independence, here are a few things to think about and ask yourself:
Create Rules and Boundaries to Their Independence
- What are your family rules on when they should check in with you?
- What time do you expect them home after going out?
- Create technology guidelines or rules for the whole family to follow. For example, no technology in the bedrooms, all phones and devices should be turned off at a certain time, and all phones and devices should be turned off for certain events (e.g., sleep or meals).
Provide Ways to Support Their Independence While Building Trust
- Create code words for texts or through a phone call that signals if they need your help.
- Cultivate a healthy relationship with your preteen or teen so that you remain the go-to resource for them as they move into a more independent phase.
- Come up with an activity that you enjoy participating in together so that you keep connected with them in a fun way. This can be as simple as playing a game, or taking a walk.
Communicate
- Do daily check-ins. What was a happy moment in their day and what was their low? This can be done at dinner or in the car.
- Create a question box or talk later box. Find a place in the house where you can write questions to one another that need to be talked about or answered at a later time.
Make Time to Support Yourself
- Find a group of caregivers around your young people, who you can create a support network with.
- Take up a new hobby, since you have a bit more time for yourself.
Parenting can leave you feeling overwhelmed and alone, but at BLOOM you have a team behind you. Access Live and On-Demand Workshops led by the experts. Get answers to your most pressing questions through our Ask the Expert Platform. Find your village and share ideas in our Community Group surrounded by fellow parents and caregivers. Or get personalized coaching in 1-on-1 Coaching Sessions tailored to your needs. We know raising tweens and teens is hard – that’s why we created BLOOM to nurture you through the challenges and help you flourish.
