Many young people believe that anything they want to do with their bodies and their phones is their business. They enjoy the privacy and freedom that cell phones give them from their caregivers, but what happens when they use their cell phones to explore their sexuality?
What Is Sexting?
Sexting most commonly refers to the posting or sending of nude or partially nude photos of oneself to another user, usually via cell phone or app. Scary headlines may lead you to believe this is a common practice among preteens and teens with extreme consequences. Although the actual numbers vary, many researchers agree that most preteens and teens are not sexting, and those who are usually aren’t subjected to harsh penalties. However, there are still risks to consider for young people who sext. These tips will help you talk about sexting with your young person so you’re both prepared if it ever becomes an issue.
Teen Sexting Stats
Most teens are not sexting:
- 19.3% of teenagers have sent a sext message
- 34.8% of teenagers have received a sext message
- 14.5% of teenagers have forwarded a sext message
- 17% of kids have shared their own SG-SCAM
- 15% of 9- to 10-year-olds have shared their own SG-CSAM
- Increased rates of initial shares were most pronounced among 9-10 year olds, young boys (aged 9-12), from 7% in 2019 to 18% in 2020
The GOOD news is that still, 75-80% of children are not sending in SG-CSAM!
The Risks of Sexting
Preteens and teens who take, send, or forward sexting images may face:
- Embarrassment if their picture is shown to family, friends, classmates, and even strangers.
- Bullying or harassment from peers who judge them for sexting.
- Trouble at school if they have violated a school policy. Some adolescents have been kicked off of athletic teams or suspended from school.
- Future consequences if the image follows them for a long time. It may be seen by college admissions officers or potential employers.
- Trouble with the police. In extreme cases, kids can be charged for sending or forwarding nude images of minors.
- Sextortion or blackmail by someone threatening to distribute earlier sexts and sexual images if they don’t send more.
Start the Conversation
Ask questions to make it clear you’re comfortable discussing it.
- “Has anyone ever asked or pressured you to sext? Have you ever received a sexy picture from someone?”
Discuss what characterizes a healthy relationship.
- “Any person pressuring you to sext isn’t someone you should trust. Boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but a sexual image of you can stay around forever.”
Explain how quickly images can spread online.
- “Once the photo is sent, it’s out of your control.”
Emphasize the importance of not forwarding sexts they receive.
- “You do not have the right to decide who should see someone else’s body. Forwarding images is a major violation of trust and exposes the person in the picture to potential ridicule. Imagine how you would feel if someone betrayed your trust by sharing a nude photo of you.”
If their image is already out there
Luckily, most preteens and teens who have sent a sext do not have their image spread, get extorted, or end up with a court date, but helping young people understand the risks and what steps to take if they or a friend is facing negative consequences as the result of sexting is still important. Here are some key things to discuss.
Help Them Understand Healthy Sexual Relationships
Understanding that positive relationships are built on mutual trust and respect is important for young people to realize as they begin exploring dating, relationships, and sexuality. Make sure they understand that they have the right to say no to anyone trying to pressure them into doing something that they aren’t comfortable with.
Talk About the Risks of Sending Sexts
They likely sent the image in confidence, not thinking that it could ever be shared or used against them. The best way to avoid these risks is to not send explicit images at all.
Advise Them to Document Any and All Harassment
When reporting cases of sextortion, it’s invaluable to have evidence of the harassment. That means making sure children know how to save any messages, images, or files the extorter sends through a website, app, or text message.
Review Steps for Reporting the Extortion
Beyond documenting the harassment, victims should block the extorter’s accounts and report the threats directly to the website or app where the harassment is happening. A report should also be made to local law enforcement and NCMEC’s CyberTipline.
Help Minors Remove Their Content From the Internet
Visit www.MissingKids.org/IsYourExplicitContentOutThere to get step-by-step directions about contacting sites and apps like Google and Snapchat about flagging and removing sexually explicit content featuring minors.
Be Part of a Strong Support System
Many victims of sextortion feel a sense of guilt or shame, especially when they may have sent the initial sext willingly. Try to be empathetic to the situation and focus on problem-solving for the present and future rather than dwelling on the past mistake.For more information about sexting and sextortion, visit http://www.missingkids.org/theissues/sextortion, and to view the full breadth of free prevention resources available from NCMEC, visit http://www.missingkids.org/netsmartz/resources.
It Can Start Early…
The following short film explores the #MeToo movement from the perspective of the middle schoolers it follows. It illuminates that the issue starts much younger than you may think and aims to start an open conversation about sexual harassment and assault in schools at a much earlier age. The film has accumulated over 8 million views on YouTube and has been used to teach sexual harassment in schools across Connecticut.
Explore More About Protecting Your Young Person Against Online Enticement
Learn how to help protect your preteen or teen online. BLOOM is here to help, whether you are looking for tips on talking with your kids about internet safety, tech security tips to protect them online, or even in-depth and personalized Q&As and workshops. Raising young people is hard enough. We are here to help demystify and provide support!
This article was originally published by Netsmartz and minimally edited for clarity. Read the article in its original publication.
