Learn how to support your teen’s digital health and wellness and help them become a good digital citizen.
Preteens and teenagers have never known a world without the Internet. They’ve grown up in our online culture, in which relationships are built on social media likes and any questions can be answered in an instant, and it’s your job to make sure they’re equipped to navigate this culture mindfully.
Online safety and privacy are often a caregiver’s first concerns around how preteens and teens interact with the Internet. And while those topics are crucially important, they aren’t the only components to managing digital life.
It’s also paramount that your preteen or teen understand digital wellness — the practice of creating an intentional relationship with technology — and digital citizenship, or how to participate in online spaces in a responsible and respectful way.
What Is Digital Health & Wellness?
Digital wellness, or digital wellbeing, is the practice of creating and keeping a balanced and healthy relationship with technology — meaning, one in which technology supplements and enhances our lives rather than controls it, and we can put down our devices when we need to.
Neglecting digital wellbeing can have physiological and psychological consequences, like suffering from chronic pain from device overuse or increased anxiety about in-person social situations. Here’s how to help your teen cultivate this kind of mindset.
6 Ways to Encourage Digital Wellness
1. Limit Screen Time.
Excessive screen time can lead to multiple physical and psychological issues, like obesity, disturbed sleep, and diminished social skills; and teens spend an estimated 9 hours a day in front of a screen.
Start limiting usage by substituting an alarm clock for their phone and creating a family habit to keep phones out of the bedroom overnight.
2. Bring Self-Awareness to Social Media
Research shows a direct link between social media use and increased rates of depression in teens. Cultivate self-awareness in your preteen or teen around social media: Have them walk you through different posts on their feeds and identify the feelings that arise as they do.
3. Prioritize Real-Time Relationships
It’s certainly possible to make real friendships online and via social media, but their IRL connections should be just as important, if not more so.
Explain human interaction, unmediated by a screen, is necessary. Make a family pact to put phones away when talking to others in person and hold each other accountable.
4. Model Balance By Limiting Your Screen Time
As a role model for your preteen or teen, make sure you’re spending time offline yourself — taking time for healthy meals, exercising, and engaging in non-screen hobbies. Committing to and scheduling regular family time — without screens — will also show your teen that you value time offline.
5. Set Boundaries Using “Do Not Disturb”
Encourage using “do not disturb” mode during homework and study time. Engage the “daily limit” options on apps like Instagram or use programs like Freedom to block Internet access for periods of time. Suggest blocking or unfollowing people who aren’t positive forces, or who trigger unhealthy emotional reactions in your teen.
6. Encourage Mindful Use of Technology
Are they picking up their device because they need to look something up or are they mindlessly scrolling because they’re bored or uncomfortable?
Start an ongoing conversation about the difference between using their phone as a tool and using it as a distraction from the unavoidable ups and downs of daily life.
What Does it Mean to Be a Good Digital Citizen?
The idea of “public space” no longer refers just to physical locations outside private homes, like the library or grocery store. Many public spaces are online, like social network feeds and comments sections in forums. And just like you’d teach your teen to be a good citizen in the world — participating in their community, helping neighbors, respecting others — it’s important to teach them how to be a good citizen online. This means they’re able to navigate the digital world in a socially and civically responsible way.
How to Foster Digital Citizenship
There Is No Privacy on the Internet
Make it clear that there’s simply no such thing as privacy on the Internet. Everything and anything they write, create, or place on a digital device of any kind—text, email, video, photo, social media post, etc.— should be considered public and permanent.
Pause Before They Post
Teach them to pause before they post. Suggest they wait 15 minutes and take some deep breaths before publishing a comment, post, or response. Suggest they ask themselves: “Is this something I’d want my grandparents/teachers/ college admissions board to see?” If the answer is no, then don’t post.
What’s the Intention Behind the Post
Ask them to consider their intentions before posting. Are they seeking appreciation, inclusion, approval, or reassurance? If so, is there something more constructive they could do to meet that need?
Model Empathy Before Posting
Model empathy. Empathy is the number one antidote to bullying behavior and can help teens to stand up for others. Remind them that there is an actual person on the other end of their comments, questions, and criticisms. Would they say their comment to the person in real life? If the answer is no, then don’t post.
Teach Them to Think Critically
Teach them to question what they read and share online. Suggest they look at the source of information and news to make sure it’s reputable — and to fact-check anything that’s not from an established source.
Use the Internet Positively
Encourage them to add to the internet’s positive side. Are they lifting people up? Are they offering and providing help and serving as a resource when they can? Are they assuming the best from people and clarifying when they’re unsure?
Don’t Plagiarize & Give Credit Where It’s Due
Make sure they know not to pass off content found on the internet (or elsewhere) as their own. Ethics matter: They should not copy, plagiarize, or fail to give credit to materials produced by others.
