Ways to Express your Gender

Written by Jen Bell

  |  Reviewed by Mason Dunn

Playing with your gender expression can help you find what feels right. You might want to:

  • Experiment with clothing, hairstyles, accessories, etc. If you know yourself to be a girl, but you don’t want to wear pink dresses, that doesn’t make you any less of a girl, no matter whether you are cisgender or transgender! Maybe you want to try shaving your face or legs, coloring your hair, or wearing nail polish. Find what makes you feel good.
  • Try out a different name and/or pronoun (he, she, or a gender neutral pronoun like they or ze) — video games, social media, and online platforms can be a safe place to experiment. It might help to write in your journal using different names and pronouns to see what feels like a good match. You could order a coffee at a coffee shop with the name that makes you feel comfortable, or create an anonymous social media account that you can test out names and pronouns on. If there’s a supportive person in your life, ask if they would like to be your pen pal, using your chosen name and pronouns.
  • Give your gender a name or label, but only if YOU want to! Some people use the label “questioning” while they are unsure about their gender, still exploring, or if they are concerned about applying a label to themselves.

It’s perfectly OK to have whatever gender identity, name, and pronoun that you feel comfortable with — and only you can decide what that is. No matter how you identify, your gender is only one part of who you are, it is not the only thing that defines you.