Crushes & Attraction

Written by Lori Reichel, Ph.D.

  |  Reviewed by Hina J. Talib, MD

As a person gets older, they might notice that the person who used to annoy them when they were younger is now looking kind of cute. Some people consider this occurrence as becoming attracted to another person in a romantic and/or sexual manner. This can also be called having a “crush” on another person.

These romantic and/or sexual feelings for someone is another natural and normal part of getting older. Many people experience these feelings and, as they age, may choose to date or be in a relationship with a person they have these feelings for.

Tips if you have a Crush
  • If you want to keep your feelings secret, attempt to act like your typical self if you talk with or spend time with the person.
  • If you want to keep your feelings secret, note your feelings by journaling or drawing about them in some way. You can also do this beforehand if you decide to tell the person about your feelings.
  • If you want to tell the person, tell them in a polite way. For example, you can say, “I have something to tell you and it is personal. I’m attracted to you.”
  • Talk to others you trust about your feelings. This can be a parent, caregiver, another trusted adult, or a trusted friend.
  • While it may be tempting to share, it’s best to keep these feelings off of social media.
  • Realize the other person may not feel the same way. If you find this out, understand this happens to most of us and you may still choose to be friends with the person.
  •  If allowed to, spend special time with the person.

For more information on crushes and types of attraction, explore BLOOM’s Relationships Page.