{"id":22351,"date":"2023-06-12T17:31:35","date_gmt":"2023-06-12T17:31:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bloomforall.com\/parent\/?p=22351"},"modified":"2023-10-18T01:35:13","modified_gmt":"2023-10-18T01:35:13","slug":"what-offenders-want-you-to-know-about-child-abuse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bloomforall.com\/parent\/what-offenders-want-you-to-know-about-child-abuse\/","title":{"rendered":"What Offenders Want You to Know"},"content":{"rendered":"

 This article was originally written for <\/em>Parenting Safe Children<\/em><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>

During the summer of 2014, I met with six groups of people who have sexually abused children: Four groups of men who, as part of their probation, attend a treatment group; one group of female offenders in their treatment program; and then one group of men in prison.<\/p>

I participated in these offender groups with the sole purpose of better understanding this crime so I can better equip parents and professionals to prevent it.<\/p>

Nearly all of the men and women were glad to have me participate because they don\u2019t want to offend again and they want you to know how to keep children safe and to speak up on children\u2019s behalf every chance you get.<\/p>

Child Abusers Can Be Anyone<\/h2>

We can be anyone.<\/strong><\/p>

Contrary to common perception, people who sexually abuse children are not dirty old men. They are people we love and trust, who are well-known to you and your children.<\/p>

The groups in which I participated included fathers and mothers, teachers and business people, working class and middle class, and people of varying ethnic backgrounds and ages. What they all shared in common, however, is that they knew the child or teen they abused, and had access, privacy, and control.<\/p>

Some, but not all, had been sexually abused themselves as children, and some started abusing children when they were teens.<\/p>

The Lesson <\/h3>

People who sexually abuse children are already in our lives. They have our child\u2019s love and trust, which is why it\u2019s so important to find the courage to invite loved ones and other caregivers onto your Prevention Team.<\/p>

They Abuse Children Because They Feel Powerless<\/h2>

We abuse children because we feel powerless.<\/strong><\/p>

Nearly all of the people I met are a so-called \u201csituational\u201d abusers, which means they have sexual relationships with adults, but in specific situations turn to children, usually to reduce negative feelings (e.g., anxiety, guilt, depression, loneliness, lack of self-worth) or to experience power and control. In their words,<\/p>