It\u2019s normal for kids to explore gender as they grow up, and to be curious about \u2014 and push back on \u2014 cultural stereotypes about masculinity and femininity. It\u2019s also common to engage in \u201cgender-nonconforming\u201d behavior, like preferring toys or clothes stereotypically associated with a different gender. <\/p>
For some kids, these explorations are closely tied to their identity. They might feel like the labels \u201cboy\u201d and \u201cgirl\u201d are too restrictive, or just don\u2019t fit. They might feel that their internal experience doesn\u2019t match the gender listed on their birth certificate. These feelings can be confusing and stressful, leading to anxiety, depression, loneliness and alienation.<\/p>
If your child is questioning their gender identity or gender expression, they need your support. Taking a gender-affirming stance \u2014 treating your child in a way that reflects their experience and identity \u2014 is crucial. <\/p>
What Does Transgender and Nonbinary Mean?<\/h2>
Gender diversity<\/em> refers to all the identities and expressions that don\u2019t fit within stereotypical understandings of male and female. When talking about gender diversity, it\u2019s necessary to distinguish between gender identity<\/em>, gender expression<\/em>, and sexual orientation<\/em>. <\/p> Gender identity<\/em> is about internal experience \u2014 whether someone feels masculine, feminine, both, neither, or somewhere in-between. Gender expressio<\/em>n is how that experience is reflected through clothes and hair, makeup, body language and speaking style, etc. Sexual orientation<\/em> is about sexual and romantic attraction, and is separate from gender diversity. (Check out \u201cIs My Kid LGBTQIA+?\u201d for more on sexual orientation.)<\/p> BLOOM Note > We prefer to use the term gender diverse rather than just transgender or nonbinary. Gender identity is always evolving, and gender diversity is the umbrella term that best describes that. <\/p> Kids who are transgender<\/em> identify as a gender different from the one listed on their birth certificate. Health professionals often use the phrase \u201cconsistent, insistent, and persistent\u201d when talking about trans people \u2014 that the desire to be of a different gender is a powerful, ongoing, and long-lasting one.<\/p> Kids who are nonbinary <\/em>don\u2019t experience their gender as solidly masculine or feminine, but as somewhere in between, or both, or neither.<\/p> People might call themselves genderfluid<\/em> (meaning their identity or expression changes), genderqueer<\/em>, gender expansive<\/em>, or gender nonconforming<\/em> (all ways to describe identities or expressions that resist stereotypes). This language is constantly evolving and your teen might use terms that are unfamiliar to you; check out our glossary<\/a> for more.<\/p> Sharing an evolving gender identity or expression is a huge and brave step for a preteen. The most important thing you can do is offer your unconditional love and support.<\/p> Affirm their gender<\/strong>: Use their preferred name and pronouns. Discuss any necessary changes at home, like new rules about privacy or new considerations within family dynamics.<\/p> Act as their advocate: <\/strong>Ask that others respect their identity. Call out transphobia. Encourage your child to set boundaries when necessary and stand up for themselves when it\u2019s safe.<\/p> Get educated: <\/strong>Research gender-affirming care and treatments. Stay up to date on evolving language and terminology. Familiarize yourself with local and state trans rights laws.<\/p> Involve others: <\/strong>Find out how their school supports trans students. If they don\u2019t, push for change. Do the same with your teen\u2019s after-school activities, part-time job, or volunteering.<\/p> <\/p> Identifying as transgender does not equate to a mental illness. But transgender people can experience severe and ongoing distress, known as \u201cgender dysphoria,\u201d related to the disconnect between the sex assigned to them at birth and their internal gender identity \u2014 for example, experiencing menstruation as a transgender youth<\/a>. <\/p> It\u2019s important to note that a medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria is often necessary before health insurance companies will cover gender-affirming care.<\/p> Transgender and nonbinary people often choose to implement changes in their lives that align with their gender identity. This might be referred to as a \u201cgender transition\u201d or \u201cgender affirmation.\u201d It\u2019s a personal and private journey that can look different for different people. <\/p> It may include: <\/p> If your teen is struggling with feelings of depression, anxiety, or isolation, they may need to see a licensed therapist. To find a counselor who specializes in gender diversity, check out the Human Rights Campaign\u2019s map of gender clinics<\/a> across the country.<\/p> Mental health care may be especially important for children who are neurodivergent \u2014 with diagnoses like autism spectrum disorder, learning differences, OCD, etc. \u2014 and children who have experienced discrimination. <\/p> Rates of suicide* and attempted suicide are much higher in trans teens than in gender-conforming youth. If your preteen or teen mentions any thoughts of suicide, take them seriously: Alert their doctor or a counselor immediately. <\/p> Research has shown that having one supportive person in a trans teen\u2019s life will greatly reduce those risks, however. As a caregiver, you<\/em> are that person. Your support is key.<\/p> It\u2019s easy to get flustered when talking about gender diversity. You might feel intimidated by the evolving language, embarrassed that you don\u2019t know the correct terms, or nervous about asking questions. That\u2019s ok\u2014and you\u2019re not alone. <\/p> But don\u2019t let any fears hinder your support. Avoiding the issue is worse than trying and making a mistake \u2014 and you will <\/em>make mistakes. Just apologize, correct yourself, and move on. Showing your teen that you respect and support them is much more important than your pride.<\/p> Understanding a child\u2019s gender identity often means a lot of change at once\u2014change that might be overwhelming for a parent or caregiver at first. Talking to a therapist or joining a support group can be invaluable. <\/p> This is especially important if you\u2019re having difficulty accepting your child\u2019s gender. While it\u2019s completely natural to worry about your teen, that\u2019s not an excuse to invalidate their identity or force them to present as their gender assigned at birth. <\/p> Ultimately, you want your child to be their happiest, most authentic self. Accompanying them on this journey of self-discovery is an honor\u2014one that will bring you closer to understanding and lifting up who they truly are.<\/p> If you are still feeling overwhelmed, don\u2019t worry! BLOOM is here to help. With our library of\u00a0 On-Demand Workshops<\/a> with our trusted educators, to our Ask the Expert Forum & Live Events<\/a> \u00a0where you can get answers to your burning questions from our qualified professionals, to Supportive Community<\/a>, where you can find strength in a community of other parents and caregivers, to Direct 1-on-1 Parent Coaching Support<\/a>, we\u2019ve got you. Raising tweens or teens is hard enough. BLOOM is here to make it a little easier.<\/p> *If you or someone you know needs help, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. You can also reach a crisis counselor by messaging the Crisis Text Line at 741741.<\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The definitive guide for caregivers supporting nonbinary, transgender, and gender diverse teens.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":204,"featured_media":22237,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[52],"tags":[],"powerkit_post_featured":[],"coauthors":[341,364],"class_list":{"0":"post-22236","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-gender-identity-sexual-orientation"},"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloomforall.com\/parent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22236","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloomforall.com\/parent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloomforall.com\/parent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloomforall.com\/parent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/204"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloomforall.com\/parent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22236"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bloomforall.com\/parent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22236\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloomforall.com\/parent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22237"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bloomforall.com\/parent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22236"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloomforall.com\/parent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22236"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloomforall.com\/parent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22236"},{"taxonomy":"powerkit_post_featured","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloomforall.com\/parent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/powerkit_post_featured?post=22236"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bloomforall.com\/parent\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=22236"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}How to Support Your Transgender or Nonbinary Child <\/h2>
Talking About Your Teen\u2019s Gender Identity Journey<\/h3>
![\"father](\"https:\/\/bloomforall.com\/parent\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2023\/06\/father-and-son-sit-on-a-bench-and-talk-2022-11-16-08-51-19-utc-copy-1160x387.webp\")
<\/figure>Simple Ways to Support Transgender Kids<\/h3>
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/bloomforall.com\/parent\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2023\/03\/Caregiver_Teen_Talking_screen.jpg\")
Ready to elevate your parenting? Become a member of the BLOOM family today! <\/h2>\n\n
Gain access to workshops, coaching, and a network of supportive parents. Don\u2019t navigate this journey alone –<\/h2><\/div><\/div>\n\n
What Is Gender Dysphoria in Transgender Kids? <\/h3>
Gender-Affirming Care for Transgender Youth<\/h3>
Mental Health Care for Nonbinary & Transgender Kids<\/h3>
![\"gender](\"https:\/\/bloomforall.com\/parent\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/2023\/06\/GenderSupport_Content-1160x387.jpg\")
<\/figure>Own Your Mistakes About Trans & Nonbinary Topics <\/h2>
When to Get Support<\/h2>